Safety is big at my workplace. Really big. It’s the kind of company that is highly regulated, and subject to all sorts of safety standards, as it should be. In the small hallway where I work, there are 8 cubes, 4 on each side of the walkway. Four of them have large signs hanging from the ceiling above them with a big red cross against a white background. That is because there are four safety monitors in my immediate vicinity. Should we have an emergency, they would perform a variety of pre-assigned and practiced actions, including sweeping the building to make sure everyone evacuated and assisting any persons that may not be able to get out of the office under their own power. I feel very safe at work. Except, perhaps, when I’m in the elevator.
Upon entering the elevator in our building, I am greeted with this sign.
Aside from the brilliant, though I”m sure unintentional, example of personification, I think my favorite part of the sign is the portrayal of an elevator gone haywire with the poor little arrow clearly in a panic as it vibrates between floors four and five. However, we have yet to get to the instructions…
I have a feeling that anyone entrapped by the elevator would likely attempt all of the above instructions without needing a reminder, but who knows? Whenever I ride the elevator, I play in my mind a little scene with an unfortunately paranoid and anxious person reading the list aloud while thinking to himself, “Is this a life threatening emergency? Am I equipped with a cell phone? Stay calm? Who the hell do you think you are telling me to stay calm?!” Of course, this is done while repeatedly mashing the elevator alarm button, which instruction seems designed to increase the anxiety of the entrapped. Maybe “Stay calm,” should be the first step?
Note: Apologies for the crappy images again – I just can’t seem to take clear pictures in a hurry, and as I’ve mentioned before, I hesitate to get caught taking pictures hence I be perceived as some sort of corporate spy…
Every elevator alarm button I’ve ever encountered rings constantly when you “depress” it. Perhaps these alarm buttons just need some ginseng and a comforting word or two now and then instead.